Friday, February 11, 2011

Love and Family

I have been thinking lately what this means and how do people learn all about it. I came from a very dysfunctional family, my mother I believe has Bipolar or something like this, Me and my brother do not talk to each other and I know my father has RAD he was raised in a Orphanage. But the plus side of this I had great Grandparents and great Aunts and Uncles,they truly taught me what a normal family should be. I remember and still have days where I am very sad that I never had those Mom and daughter Lunch's or dates,what did i I have, well anytime My mom was home she was to busy telling me How fat and how bad my hair looked and How sucky my friends where. Then I had my Brother who called me Chunk all time, then my Dad who pretty much never talked to us he was to busy trying to keep my Mom Happy so she would not freak out. The only good days where on Saturdays when we went to visit my Grandma and had lunch with the big family,or when we traveled to Disneyland once every summer because for one week we where a normal family that loved each other. so Then I wonder How did I learn how to love like a Mom should love her kids,well I just keep thinking how I do not want to be like my mom I want to support my kids I want them to know I think they are perfect even if  they have days that they are not.I want them to remember the little things, not that for one week in the summer there mom loved them, I want them to be sad when they get married or Move out when they grow up not count down the days when they can legally move out.  Well that was how I felt from age 12 yrs and on. It has been 1 year since me and my mom and my family has talked to each other, there are some sad parts but mainly it is because I do not have the fairytale of lunch's like I said and I never will, she will not come around like some people say she will it is just that way and  she will Die that way but I just remind myself that when she stands before him she will not be able to say like I will that I tried to have a good relationship I tried to be the perfect little girl she wanted me to be but for some reason I couldn't. so on Valentines make sure your kids know that you really do love them,Maybe they have had moments that they let you down but hey that's  how we learn and that is why we where put on earth was to learn and to have choices.I am very Happy that on this valentines I have all my kids Home I have a very supportive Husband who I could not imagine living with out. I do have Aunts and Uncle's and cousin's that try to keep in touch so I have some sort of connection to my bigger family. I know up in Heaven I have a  grandma who is Happy with my choices. so I guess please make sure you have those fairy tale lunch's with your kids and be there when they need you that is what Love and family is.


  1. You're an awesome mom Candice! Thanks for the reminder of what good mommies are. :)

  2. Candice What a heart breaking story. Thanks for sharing.