Friday, January 22, 2010

Looking back and looking forward

As I look back over the last 16 months of our adoption journey I am surprised at how naive I was about the world we live in. If you would have asked me before this started how well I understood the challenges the rest of the world faced I would have said that I thought I did and really meant it.

I had kept up to date on the world and been aware of the challenges other countries face and just how lucky my family is to live the life we do.

It only took a 20 minute drive through pre-earthquake Haiti to realize I knew nothing of life and the real struggles it can bring. In that short trip my perspective, world and heart changed forever. I have a strong belief and testimony that we are all brothers and sisters and that we had great love for each other before our time here on earth.

As I rode through those streets I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that these are my brothers and sisters. These are people that I know, people I care about, people I love and here they are living in situations I wouldn't allow an animal to exist in. My thoughts then drifted to my own kids and how I would feel if one of them ignored their brothers and sisters in the way I had allowed myself to neglect the family outside my very small circle. How would I feel if I saw them blessed with so much and looked away as their brother or sister died of starvation or thirst?

I would be devastated and that is with my very limited ability to love and understand in comparison to our Heavenly Fathers. I ache over the pain that I may have averted had I just looked and cared. When I think of the disappointment my Father in Heaven must have felt and will continue to feel as I struggle to use the blessings I have received to do his work and help all that I can.

I pray that I can keep my heart as open and focused on those who's needs are so overwhelmingly hard to endure and easy to correct as clean drinking water and a bit of food to eat. I realize I may never make even a scratch on the big picture of things but I hope I pray that I can end my life having thrown as many starfish back in the ocean as possible.


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  1. Beautifully said, a trip to Haiti will do that!

  2. Very well said. I continue to pray for a bright future for the sweet people of Haiti! ~ mare